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When you start your journey, you go and meet your driver
You shake his hand, and hope he's feeling well
The things to come may be somewhat unfamiliar
Like eating herring where the sun does not go down
Our driver calculates what time we'll hit town

And every time a border comes
We go inside and meet with someone
Perhaps a form will need to be filled in
Then we can go and restart up the engines

Plumbing often varies in the various different countries
I like to crouch down and turn on those bidets
I'll have a cocktail, pick at my fingernails
And then I'll squat down for a wash to end the day
Our driver recommends we try the souffle

And every time a border comes
We go inside and meet with someone
Perhaps a form will need to be filled in
Then we can go and restart up the engines

Then we went down under, and we were told of farmers
Who brought some pigs here from the old country
But pigs eat turtle eggs and turtles eat jellyfish
And now you get stung if you're swimming in the sea
Our driver gestures out behind the palm trees

And every time a border comes
We go inside and meet with someone
Perhaps a form will need to be filled in
Then we can go and restart up the engines